An African teacher was sent to China to teach.The first day he entered
class, he began by roll-calling. He said “Sheng.” A student said
”present. ”He called the second name, “Chu muon” Another student
said”present.”Suddenly, he sneezed, ”hatchia” one student seated at
the corner stood up and said, ”present.”He then exclaimed and
said,”hmmmm😏…”all the students shouted”absent.”He got confused and
said,”chai…” three students stood up and said,”which of us sir?” The
teacher became more confused and he asked, ”what is wrong?” A
student stood up and said, ”sir, I’m not wrong, I’m called Wong.”The
teacher now laughed and said, ”hahaha😂😂 ”..A girl said. ” Present sir.”The
2: WHAT WE SAY TO OUR MOTHERS ]
At 3 years we say, “Mom I love you .”
At 14 years we say, “Mom whatever .”
At 16 years we say, “My mom is so annoying !”
At 18 years we say ,”I am leaving this house !”
At 20 years we say, “Mom, you were right .”
At 30 years we say, “I want to go to mom’s house
At 50 years we say, “I don’t wanna lose my mom
At 70 years we say, “I wish to have my mom here with me .”
If you love your mom please write the first letter of your Mom’s name
But if you don’t love her, just Ignore this post
Don’t forget to join 👇
3: Stay away from people who think their charger will develop a fault if you use it. They are bad for your mental health.
4: My Wife 👩Went On A Holiday Leaving Me Behind🙄 I Got Horny🙄 One Day And Decided To Try The Maid 👩Who Has Just Arrived From The Village😐I Called The Maid To My Bedroom🙋♂ Where I Had Taken Off My Clothes👖👕 And Pointed To🙂 My Manhood🙄:“Do 👉You Know What This Is?”🤔 I Said.
Maid👩: (Acting Shy) Yes🙄
Me👨: “Do You Know What Is use For?”🤔
Me👨: Well That’s Perfect Show Me😋
The Maid 👩Immediately Knelt Down,🙄Hold The Item With Both Hands,🙄 Drew Closer And Opens Her Mouth. (At This Point I Was Shivering With Anticipation And Excitement)🤔🙄
The Maid 👩Then Began : “My Name Is Sarah , 😩I’m 22 Years Old From IMO state . I Want To Send A ShoutOut To My Parents🙄, Mr And Mrs Donald , My Uncle John , My Brother Andrew Donald 🙄I Would Like To Tell My Boyfriend That I Miss Him🙄. Can You Please Play A Song🙄” “👉Work👈 👉Work👈👉 Work👈” By Rihanna. Thank You. She Then Turn To Me👨 And Said:
“Boss, Take Your Microphone🎤
5: FOOTBALL VS SEX
1. Going to ur boyfriend or Girlfriend’s house without being invited = Offside
2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = Free kick
3. Condom = Defender
4. Abortion = Red card
5. Condom breaks = Penalty
6. A girl with lot of energy = Captain
7. Having sex without condom = Own goal
8. Taking a lot of time without coming = Man of the match
9. Sexing three girls in one day = Hat trick
10. Having sex with ur Ex = Friendly match
11. Eight years of sex without getting a child = Arsenal
12. After two rounds and u request for more = Extra time
13. Taking it gently when having sex = Fair play
14. Biting ur girlfriend’s nipples = Suarez
15. Two legs on the shoulder = Throwing
16. Asking her “how do u want it?” = Taking instructions from the touchline
17. A lady using pills after sex and later she still gets pregnant = Defensive error
18. A girl getting pregnant = Goooooal
19. Having sex with ur girlfriend and ur mum opens the door = Injury
20. A guy who impregnated the lady = Active striker
21. A girl telling u to stop = yellow card
22. You and ur girlfriend break up in ur love relationship = Game over
6: Admin pls accept
1. Aunty , pls change ur DP… U’ve been smiling since March… Is ur mouth not paining u ni??
2.My mum hides her money in the Bible. The Israelites took it, now she is accusing me
3. When a girl is not interested in a relationship anymore, she
can say anything just to break up with you…she will be like ..
“Baby I can’t continue with this relationship your
father did not write NECO”
4. Most guys and ladies will be claiming thug on facebook yet their mother
use to excort them to urinate at midnight
5. When u date me in 2020, there’ll be no dumping me… I’m too old for that! If ur love is over, we’ll use mine… I’ll hotspot u! ?
U know she’s ugly, yet u tell her she’s the most beautiful girl in the world… This wickedness must end in 2019.
7. Imagine if God says that our offering money would be our feeding money in heaven, I swear na ulcer go kill some people for heaven…
8. They asked you to join choir in church and you said you don’t have voice, the one you use to moan during sex nko?
9. Ur phone has password…
Ur laptop has password…
Even ur iPad has password, but why didn’t u put a password between ur legs, idiot??
Paschaline Chy: Dad, sheymatt hacked.
10. Imagine calling urself a Marlian, and u still run away from dogs.
11. No matter how tired I may be, seeing buhari on Tv always
gives me strength to stand up and change the channel..mtcheww
12. If your child has a bad handwriting, Congratulations! You have given birth to a medical doctor
13. Ordinary injection, you dey fear, but if it is 9 inches dick, you will burst into laughter….
Sister, you have generational problem
14: After scratching ur Nyash 2 ur satisfaction den u turn back & realized Dat ur crush has been looking at u.. Oh father lord!
15: The worst ever disgrace back then, when ur girlfriend in secondary school came to visit u at home and mum said Cyril did u bath 2day at all?
16: Chai… I still remember d time,
When I was working at d Zoo,
My boss fired me simply because I left the lions gate open,
That man got no brain,
I mean who can steal a lion ?
Instead of giving her 20k to buy ordinary wig to that thoughtless brain.
Help her buy cartoons of Indomie and 4 crates of Egg with a little stove.
Let her start MAI SHAI business.
We’re tired of all this lazy girls
18: I wonder if this Aboki people have started using Curry & Thyme to make perfume this days,
Because, This Babe seated next to me,
Is smelling like Jollof rice.
19: Jokes Apart
Bride price of fat Gals shld b higher dan dt of Slim Gals, Quantity matters!
Orobo Pepsi is not same price as d 35cl
20. Snoring too is a gift.
Not everyone can compose song with beat while sleeping..
21: *Africa parents will be like: tunde remind me to beat you before we sleep*
22: Dancing with a fat girl is like dragging bag of rice from one place to another….so stressful
23: To those girls who give their numbers to guys and then ignore their calls or block them .why did you give them your number in the first place? This is the reason why guys give you babies and ignore you!!!
24. Today marked it exactly 18 years, my mother almost killed me the day I was sent to go and buy salt for a Jollof Rice that was already on the fire .After 2 hours of waiting for me only for my mother to come out to see me in front of the street doing “Change your style”,Yah!,”Another styleWooo!,be like thaaat!!!”……I was still “Being like that” when my mother landed a warm thunder slap on my left ear…..For complete 7 days, I was continuously hearing “Mother in the kitchen cooking rice”..
25: Some people have exceed their lying limits… When they commit a crime n say God it was Satan…Satan look back at them n say God as for this one I have no idea
26: AJ: helo *Mr Cyril* did u see my message?
*ME* : Is it the one u said I should borrow u 5k?
*ME* : I did not see it.
27 To those who silently laugh at my posts but never react, May you get a muscle pull in both your legs when having ___*____