I knew this wealthy Chief who promised to get me a job after NYSC.
“See enh, don’t worry. Once you finish your NYSC, Just send me your CV. I will press a few buttons and you will have a job. Don’t feel guilty about me pressing some buttons o, Felix. I know you may be feeling like you cheated, but you didn’t. You would deserve any good job you get. You are bright.”
I smiled, “Thank you, Sir.”
When we finished NYSC, Chief invited me and Ada to dinner.
While we were eating, his phone beeped. He looked at it and hissed.
“All these boys disturbing someone and sending CVs asking for jobs, they should stop disturbing me o! No be me spoil Nigeria. Even if I asked them to send, must they send? They should hustle their way to the top instead of expecting me to just help them get a job easily. I have more important things to do.”
Ada and I exchanged glances and continued eating.
Five minutes later, this same Chief turned to me.
“Ehen Felix, do and send your CV o. Let me know where to put you.”
I stabbed at the diced watermelon on my plate and stared at him.
Chief observed me. “Is anything the matter?”
Ada forced a laughter, “No, Sir. Nothing is the matter”, and she kicked my leg under the table.

We got home. Ada stopped me.
“You made a scene in that man’s house.”
“Madam please leave me now enh. Didn’t you see what happened there? In a breath, he talked down everyone sending CVs to him and in another breath, he is asking me to do the same. He just wants to add me to the list of people he can gloat over. I’m not giving him that satisfaction.”

Two weeks later, I was taking a stroll when I ran into Chief. He asked his driver to stop and he beckoned on me.
“Felix, how are you?”
“I’m fine, Sir.”
“Your CV is very very impressive o. I’ve sent it to some of my friends. They will help.”
I chuckled. CV that I didn’t send? CV that you have never even seen? This is absolutely ridiculous.
I then looked at him mildly.
“Thank you Sir, but it’s fine. I got a space somewhere.”
“What do you mean? You have a job now?”
“Yes Sir.”
“So you don’t want me to continue forwarding your CV to my friends? You may get a better offer somewhere o, Felix”
I tugged at my shirt in irritation. The nerve of it. The confidence in lying! Chai!
“There’s no need, Sir. Thanks for your assistance.”
We talked briefly and then he drove away.

That night, I told Ada about it on the phone.
“I told you Chief just wanted someone he can gloat over. The man legit met me on the street and began to tell me he has submitted my CV to his friends. He was even commending me and saying my CV is impressive.”
Ada didn’t get the point.
“And what’s wrong with that? It means he didn’t neglect your mail like he did to others. It means sending it was a good idea.”
“You don’t understand, Ada. I didn’t send any CV to him. He has never even seen my CV yet he was saying it is impressive. He was just lying about sending it to his friends. That’s so ridiculous.”
“Felix, I sent your CV to him. I knew you may forget or even refuse to send it so I sent it myself. The man wasn’t lying.”
My mouth fell open.

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